How Was Your Week #3

Answer: hotter than satan's nostril

I am writing this sitting downstairs with the curtains closed, a mini can of Coke Zero to my left and a cup of half drunk tea to my right because women can have it all. I will now share with you the many fascinating things I did this week in the middle of a heatwave.

LFG.

A NIGHT OUT WITH AN ICON

When someone told me I needed to go see The Whiteheaded Boy in The Abbey, my only question was ‘Will I leave feeling happy as a clam or dour as an oyster?” The world’s too harsh at the moment for lessons during an evening out. I was assured that I would feel 100% clam like and I duly booked some tix. My date for the evening was my fragrant and lovely mother. When I arrived, she was already in situ by the window upstairs. She’d thrown all caution to her circadian rhythm and had bought herself an evening coffee. There was no fear of her over heating however. Keeping her cool while she sipped, was her middle aisle purchased, electric mini fan which gently blew hot air in the general direction of her face. But that wasn’t all it did. Depress its handle and it rewarded you with a delicious fine mist of lukewarm water too.

But we had theatre to enjoy so back into the Michael Kors tote it went. And there it stayed until about half way through the first half and mum, who has been deaf in one ear since childhood and has limited hearing in the other, busted out the fan-spritz hybrid, mid-act 1. Suddenly, the silence of the auditorium was punctured by a persistent and undeniable ‘WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR’. The same reflexes that made me win that all Ireland medal kicked in instantly. I took the unit out of her hand and neutralised it in seconds. She had no idea it made any noise.